A Year of Marriage

A year. A whole entire year. 365 perfect days. 8766 hours. A year can be a long time. A year can be a short time. A year of marriage is a perfect time. Don't tell me that you have never heard someone say that the first year of marriage is hard. But I'll tell you what the first year of marriage is.... an adventure!

Looking back on a year of marriage this is what I've learned.

No matter how ready you think you are, marriage is an adjustment

And that's ok! It doesn't mean that you made the wrong choice or you're not ready. It just means that you're normal and you're making a new life.  New things always need adjusting to. Mitch and I realized this early on and decided to give ourselves a break and adjust. 

Marriage takes work. It takes good, hard, lovely work

I love the work that I put into my marriage. Every disagreement or misunderstanding that is worked out, every part of him that I work to understand, every prideful tendency I have that I work to overcome is all worth it. It's the best work that I do all day.

Communicating is so important

Whether you are having a heated discussion, talking about your love life, discussing your in-laws or who is going to take out the garbage, it's all important. Any time and effort that you spend trying to get on the same page is so worth it (remember that all work is worth it). I've realized that Mitch and I agree on a lot of the same things. But when he doesn't express his opinions in the same words that I do sometimes I feel like we aren't on the same page (I'm still learning). I'm learning that if I ask intentional questions to understand Mitch then usually we can understand each other before the gloves come off.  

Not everyone will give your marriage the respect it deserves. You have to always protect your marriage.

It doesn't matter who disrespects it, as long as you protect it. And you will find plenty of people and things that will not respect your marriage. Our society will encourage long hours at the office, watching the game with the boys, a night on the town with the girls, continuing to live independently, separating responsibilities (which can be things like not sharing in the work or separating finances in an unhealthy way) and so on. Family and friends may be negative towards your precious, new marriage. It can be through direct or indirect comments and suggestions. This is your new life and you have to protect it. Don't talk about your marriage in a negative manner and don't sit around while other people or things disrespect your new life. This was something that Mitch and I had problems with when we first got married. We had people say that our marriage wouldn't last or we weren't good for each other and we realized that this negative attitude could hurt our marriage if we let it. We decided to distance ourselves from those people and continue to surround ourselves with people and things that supported our marriage. Protecting your marriage can seem like a sacrifice, but remember that you are adjusting and your marriage is number one now.

You have a clean slate as you create your new family

This is your family. It's not your parents' family or his parents' family. It is your family. Mitch and I have decided to take good things from both of our families and then fill in everything else with the things that work the best for us. Before we even got married we talked about being intentional with this 'clean slate', being intentional with creating our new family. I love the feeling. 

Enjoy this new phase together. 

This is a wonderful, God-given time that you have together. Enjoy it because it won't be like this forever.  You'll never be newlywed again. You'll never be experiencing this again. And while it will change, the next phase is going to be great and then the next phase after that.

Kidney Stones

So I went to the doctor today. The doctor can be a funny place.

I've been having problems with kidney stones. It's a Mullen thing, it's what we do. So naturally, when you have kidney stones you gotta go to the doctor's office. You do this cause those little stones can drop you to the ground. They say that kidney stones can be worse than pregnancy... I've never been prego so I don't know and my pain isn't constantly dropping me but it's there.  My sister, Andrea, had them bad when she was about 14. Home girl went into shock because the pain was so bad (holla girl!).

Anyways, I'm sitting in the office waiting room. Let's talk about those for a second. Have you ever noticed that those rooms almost always have a theme? I've seen Winnie the Pooh, golf, California, forest, nasty tack, creepy plastic body parts.... you know what I'm talking about, the awesome room theme. It's like the doctor is trying to lull you into a false since of security... cause you know he is not going to hesitate to stick you with a needle if he has to. Geeze. Well, this time no needles.  So the doctor and I are bonding over kidney stones and she's explaining more about stones then I every knew.  Basically, my beautiful urethra is 2mm in diameter and I've got a precious little stone that's 4mm.... yeah, pull out that math. And she says that I needs to strain my urine to catch this sucker. So she gives me a strainer and tells me I can go.

Then I have to do this walk of shame through the office and then down the stairs through the waiting room, into the parking lot with this urine strainer.  And now everyone knows my issues and knows what I'm going to do with that. Totally judged! So awkward! That's why God gave us purses. Cause you never know who is walking around with a urine strainer in her purse.

Image from Google

Gardening on a Budget: Starting Vegetables from Seed

I love the thought of having a garden.  I love the idea of planting something, creating something, and watching it grow and then reaping its benefits. Every year I have dreams that my garden will be this beautiful, vegetable producing machine.

Image from Google

But really, sometimes it just doesn't turn out how I envision it. 

Image from Google

So, with my beautiful garden in mind I've decided to start my garden early and I've decided to go the thrifty way. I like the idea of saving money and being resourceful.  Being a newlywed, newly graduated, no job woman, I like saving money.  There are lots of things that you can do to save money when you plant a garden. One of those things is to start your vegetables from seed. Buying young vegetables that have already started growing can be two to three times more expensive than buying seeds. Seeds can be very easy to grow, but do take time.  That's why I'm starting before the last frost (usually around Mother's Day) so that I can get a head start and save some money.  

How to start your vegetables from seed

1. Pick out your seeds!

The sky is the limit! This is the very best part.  Think about your Summer and your favorite Summer foods. Mine has to be salsa (Roma tomatoes, white onions, cilantro, jalapenos), tomatoes-cheese-onion sandwiches (tomatoes and white onions), corn on the cob (sweet corn), and squash and pumpkins for Halloween! Plant the vegetables that you eat the most. This will help you save money too. If I can pay 1.50 for all the fresh cucumbers that I can consume this Summer, that's going to save me money.

My beauties!!

2. Prepare to plant your seeds

Ok, there are a lot of different options here. First, you need something to put your seeds in. My budget allowed for me to buy a seed starter kit (it was about $5.50 at Cook's).  You can even use a left over egg carton (look, you're already saving money!). Then you need some soil to put in your tray or egg carton. Seeds don't need fertilizers, just regular soil. I would suggest getting a cheap, small bag from the store. This one I got was a little less than $7. It is a special mix for starting seeds (I'm hoping this will help me as I'm growing my green thumb).

This is the starter kit

This is an egg carton tray
Image form Google

3. Plant those seeds

Every seed is going to have different needs. They may not even be ready to plant right away (for example I am waiting till later in the season to plant my spaghetti squash). Every seed packet has directions on them so that you will know how to grow them.  The packets will definitely tell you how deep to plant the seed. So, take your seed, follow the instructions on depth and plant your seeds. You can plant multiple seeds in each space if you want, but one will do.  I think I might put a few of each kind in each space, just in case some don't grow and I can thin (after the plants reach 1" in height you can cut all the extra stems down, so there is only one stem a space) later if I need to. 

4. Water 

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. My boy Derek Zoolander said it best, if you want beautiful veggies you have to water them.  These little guys don't need a ton of water, but they need some. I would suggest a spray bottle, or something with a small spout and water everyday, more like mist everyday. Don't drown your plants though. 

5. Sunlight

Place your tray or egg carton on a window sill so that it can get a lot of sun light (if your window is facing north this isn't going to work very well). As your seeds start growing into plants and the weather starts getting warmer you can take your tray outside for a couple hours every day to help wean them into normal plant life. 

Here they are in my windowsill, ready to grow!

6. Transplant to your garden

After your seeds are grown and ready to be planted (remember those packets will tell you what time of year to plant) then it's time to transplant to your garden! A beautiful day. Your packet will tell you how far apart to plant them as well. Once plants are at this stage you can start using fertilizer to help them grow. 

I'm super stoked to watch these puppies grow! I'll keep you updated on my progress.

Married Life

Time sure flies when you are having fun and I have been having a blast! The last year has been cray cray. Being married is awesome! And different. And exciting. And frustrating. And moving. And lovely. And peaceful. And fast. And beautiful. And sweet. And comfortable. But before we got married lots of people told us that being married would be hard.  Being married is not hard, learning to be selfless is hard.
Self-less [self-lis]: having little or no concern for oneself; unselfish; having little concern for one's own interest; being married. Just kidding! I added that last one. Selfless - less self. Less - more of something else. So, selfless is less of yourself and more of someone else. Love it, hate it. It's a skill that I'm working on.

I feel like I have these needs that need to be met (well, obviously needs need to be met). My needs are things like happiness and comfort, you know the usual things.  But, by being a selfless person I'm putting my husband's needs, the same general needs that I have, before my own needs.  Not as easy as it sounds... just kidding, it doesn't even sound easy.

Ok, riddle me this: Who is the most selfless person in history? Who gave up his needs, his own life for others, for the world? The Savior. In Mark 10:43-45 it says, "...whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: and whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minster, and to give his life a ransom for many."

So, having a selfless marriage is having a Christ centered marriage.  Being Christ like to each other. I remember the day that Mitch and I got married.  We were sitting in LDS Spokane, Washington Temple together. It was just us. He was holding me and we were talking about how great our lives were going to be together.  It was perfect.  The whole world had stopped and it was just us, we were the center of the world.  I promised right there that I would try my very best to be the wife that Mitch needed.  I promised that I would do my best to give Mitch the comfort, support, security, understanding, forgiveness and love that the Savior would give him. And I think that I will dedicate my whole life to becoming that person for my husband.  And that's what marriage is.

Gosh I love this man!